operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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