the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize