On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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