I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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