If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
