Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Michael Bay diarrhea
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
