My nipple is on Facebook.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
