i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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