Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
