Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
her facebook's as public as her vagina
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
