I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
