And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize