They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
