I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
