We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's shark week go big or go home
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
