Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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