we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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