I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
