I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
my poor anus
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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