you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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