So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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