so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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