What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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