that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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