ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
