people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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