Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
