If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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