youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
