He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
