Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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