why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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