i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She needs sedatives and a leash
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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