And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
