so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
