your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
