great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
this boner is exhausting
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
