We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
