I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
