FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
