we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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