just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
