I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
