WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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