I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
