3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Can you bring me the toilet please
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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