we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
