idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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