What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
