do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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