"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
