Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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