I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i think i have two assholes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
