GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We need to get me chipped asap
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
