Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
