just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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