make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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